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Previous - this entry written on September 03, 2005 at 9:37 am - Next ...it hurts to hear. Hurts to watch. Hurts to see, to read, to know... pick whatever description you want, the simple fact is that if I could find her and beat her black and blue I would, for this. Just for this. For taking his heart and ripping it out, over and over, for doing to him... ...and let's be honest here... ...for doing to him what is my right to do, what no one else should ever do, what even I, more often than not, wouldn't consider doing... but if anyone is going to hurt him that much, dammit, I want it to be me. It's a strange sort of affection. Protectiveness mixed with sadism mixed with... what? Jealousy? Am I honestly jealous? And if so, why? It's not like she still has him... technically... ...and I do... ...meh. I don't entirely understand my head. But I'll be here, I'll listen, I'll be sympathetic and amused and Myself... and when it's over and done with, I'm going to go hurt someone. Badly. Because I can. Maybe then I'll be calm enough to ignore whatever it is I'm feeling now, 'cos I sure as hell don't want to think about it or deal with it. I need my self-control back and I need it back NOW. Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven - - Do Not Feed The Moose - |
