Little balls of fur with HUGE eyes and such ginormous ears and OMG cute little paws...
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*fond smile* And then there is the sweetness of moments like these, when for a little while I've nothing to fear, no pain, no heartbreak... Cate is curled in the bed, the boy sprawled beneath a blanket I gave him at the foot of it, I have them both all to myself and I know that when morning light creeps into the room, I'll have the pleasure of watching both wake drowsily, the first thing they do will be to turn their eyes toward me, snuggle close...
...even with the stresses and the hectic pace of the days, even with my worries and my confusions and my mood swings, with missing those not here, with all of it, still, I'd not trade my life for anyone else's.
It's been far too long since I've had one pet in my arms, the other at my feet, and known that there would be a lazy morning of snuggles and petting and drowsy giggling conversation. Whatever else tomorrow brings (and as I know what at least part of the schedule looks like, I'll be the first to admit I'm dreading most of it) the morning will make it worth while.
Heh... the little one even asked earlier if he could sleep without the collar on for a few nights, that it was chafing a bit. I agreed...
...but tonight, he's curled up with it firmly in place, and when I reminded him that he'd asked and reassured him that yes, he could take it off, he quite literally clung to it and said he'd rather keep it on, if it was all right with me. *grins fondly* Sweet little thing.
Part of it is, of course, that the wench is off with someone else and he knows it; it hurts him a bit, and so naturally he looks for comfort and company. Part of it is that he knows what it is I miss so deeply, knows as well that to be curled there, collared, covered only in something that I gave him, will ease that particular ache for me. Part of it...
...part of it is that to be unabashedly honest, I'm starting to catch him with those slender steel threads, one after another, and already I know that if his girl were to demand he choose between the two of us, it's 50/50 odds as to which he'd choose. *amused* And he's realizing it consciously now, mentioning occasionally that she feels more and more distant, less real.
This... sadly, this is not by any stretch of the imagination my fault. If anything, though I've been setting my barbs the last few days, I've been striving to keep the two of them together. It's only in the last couple of days that I've started doubting my ability to succeed in that, and thus have been arranging the means to make sure that if and when she does slide out of his reach for good, it won't shatter him.
*faint smile* She reminds me a lot of me, to be honest. As easily caged... and as hard to keep. If I did break him, turned him into a willing, eager slaveboy and nothing more, she'd be thrilled, and likely cling to him all over again. Thing is, if I'm the one to do that, it'll be me he'll latch onto, not her, so yeah. *mutter* Complicated.
Still, it can be complicated later. For this morning, I'm going back to bed (I got up to nibble a handful of cereal and take my meds, the world was ouchy) and fully intend to enjoy the dawn.
Hehehe, and I have hamsters.
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