Centered, Not Justified
Previous - this entry written on July 07, 2003 at 4:56 pm - Next
Heh. And now for a non-rambling, non-confusing update:
$60 overdrawn, no way to make rent until Friday or pay back until Friday, and my mother (who has promised to help on said Friday) decided she wasn't coming into town TODAY (which I had been counting on) without telling me or warning me. I had to call HER way after she was supposed to pick me up to find out that no, she wasn't coming in until Friday.
I hate her.
Said Friday is the day I go for my urologist appointment, after which I will be heading down to the Coast until Monday or Tuesday. A chance to see old friends (one in particular), a chance to spend time with my folks (especially my dad), and damn but I need to stop using those f'ing brackets.
So I'm stressing and worrying and REALLY wishing my mother wouldn't do this. I knew she was going to help out, and she IS... she's just changed the damn day she's doing it.
So yeah. Stress.
I feel like an idiot. Every time I actually put any faith in my mother's promises or offers, I end up getting bitten. I guess I'd gotten almost used to her keeping her word more-or-less of late. I really wasn't expecting this.
And yeah, I feel like shit. Worse, since it's Ryan's account that's overdrawn, I'm at the moment dragging him down with me, and I REALLY don't want to do that.
*twitches* And people wonder why occasionally I get really nervous about going down to California... when my life still falls apart like this, how can I do something that I KNOW will sooner or later end up fucking Caleb over?
...I don't really have an answer. I can't justify it. I wish he was back here.
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