I... heh. I don't have words for the things I'm thinking right now. I really don't. I wish I did.

It's not raining. The sky is full of clouds shading from grey to nearly-gold, the sun behind them adding light and somehow making the sky seem even more distant.

...and everything's a mess...

I'm going to take a shower soon, and start cleaning the room again. It does need it. I ran across the last of the emails I'd printed out and saved so long ago, and... breathless with loss for a moment, desperate to find some way to fight past a flood of memories that hit just a bit too hard, just a bit too deep. I don't think I understand myself, still.

I, oddly enough, just want to be alone right now.

Trisha Yearwood is an evil woman. *blinks*

...that boy's just a walk-away Joe... she only wanted love, didn't bargain for this... she's only seventeen... so she'll ride this ride as far as it can go, 'cos that boy's just a walk-away Joe... he's the wrong kind of paradise, she's gonna know it in a matter of time...

Not regarding anyone now, I think. Just thinking of what I used to think was all I'd ever want, and how much it shocked me to find Al X, to awake to the fact that my play-while-waiting for so long had suddenly become something that wrapped itself around my heart, made me wonder why I'd denied it for so long, called it a game.

*slight smile* Kadinpet, you are more than welcome to beg to have restrictions removed. That alone might amuse me enough for a night.

all around me are familiar faces
worn-out faces
worn-out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going nowhere
going nowhere
the tears are filling up their glasses
no expression
no expression
hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
no tomorrow
no tomorrow

I'm rather lost in music at the moment, caught and writing because the sounds won't go yet, they won't stop echoing, pounding, sliding so deep into my thoughts that I can't draw them free without pulling out word after word as well to spill out here.

Oddly enough, although I suspect this entry sounds rather depressed, I don't think I actually AM. It's hard to be depressed about anything when for even a moment you can capture the dream you've had for years and realize that you no longer need to dream, that it's real.

It's real.

...it's a mad world...