Accidentally Ravaged By Polar Bears
Previous - this entry written on December 04, 2003 at 9:46 pm - Next


Three days... has it really been three days since I updated? Geh.

I'm fairly sane tonight, despite having just cooked and having called my mother of my own free will. I'm fairly happy - a horrid headache won't leave and I keep going all narcoleptic but I'm not depressed or angry. Right now phones are annoying, real-life interactions stressful, and due to the sleeping patterns from hell I'm online for little more than an hour or two at a time at varying points, usually after 3:00 am. Tragically weird.

We're about to introduce Becca to Young Frankeinstien, which is likely spelled wrong. She's never seen it. I have, and found it truly bizarre, but think Becca should see it regardless and won't really mind watching it again as well. We also introduced her recently to Heathers and Hackers... gods, but she really hasn't seen much of anything. Heathers greatly amused her.

YES, if you haven't seen it, you should watch it. It's... hm. It's suitably demented and will make every young woman think of her high school days. And still it'll leave you happy, amazingly enough. Don't ask how, just go watch it.

Caleb named his sheep Heather. All of them. *grins fondly*

I haven't had much conversation with Cal - the last few nights he's called at the worst possible moment and tonight too I'm feeling kinda phone-shy. I hope I'll catch him online. I hope it as well of Kadin, who I haven't talked to in DAYS. I'm missing him quite a bit right now, his sense of humor and his submission...

...the sadistic side of me keeps trying to slip out into day-to-day life and normal conversations, frequently with disasterous results. The last roundabout let me re-tweak my submissive side and it's now actually quiet and mostly-gone. Hell, I'm not even masochistic any more, for the most part. Sadism, the urge to hold someone down, to watch them squirm, to make them moan and beg? Believe me, that's still alive and well.

Maybe I just need to get out more... maybe I will, once I can get a reasonable amount of sleep at a reasonable time again instead of this bizarre pattern of an hour's sleep without warning followed by much half-awake and awakeness. In case you can't tell, I've been off the amatryptaline again for a while. Next bottle I'm going to try to stretch, plus when I see my doctor I'm going to ask about going back to the low-dose, many pills again. It's easier to keep myself restrained, medicationally speaking, when I have to take a lot of pills than when there's just one-at-a-time uber-pills. *sighs* Addictive tendancies, my foot. I AM an addictive tendancy at this point.

Hi, my name is Jax, and this is an update.

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