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Previous - this entry written on January 31, 2004 at 8:24 am - Next 8:30 am and I'm reeling from a hangover, tasting shrimp and steel and a hint of ink, awake again. I got back around 1:30 in the morning. I don't know when Ryan and Becca got back, only that they did, since I remember being woken up for pillows, both of them sounding sober but Ryan's face flickering in and out of focus. Smell of cigarette smoke. Kerosene. I have that nasty scuzzy taste in the back of my throat that only comes with too much alcohol and not enough food. I woke up, took meds - I'm already damn near out of vicodin, already, screw the damn pain contract. I need to find a doctor who will either figure out some other pain medication or give me enough of this one to actually LAST. My side feels like it's on fire, my throat is in agony. My head hurts, hangover headache, but the pain in my side, my back, is enough to drown it out. Staring at the computer screen is at least familiar. I wish I'd been up to staying at the party longer. I want to talk to Nreshan, to Kadin, to Talia, but right now my hungers are flooding through so fast that what I could manage to say would barely be coherant. Balance, it's all about balance. Ryan asked me to wear the collar to the party. I refused. Until he can give me a better reason, a solid reason, until I know the thing means enough to him that he'll DO something about it, rather than asking me to wear it (rarely) and barely looking my way otherwise. Gorgeous woman, gorgeous, bit of a Domme... hell, quite a bit of a Domme, just waiting to explode, and I want to see her again. Balance. There was firedancing, there were a very large number of very nice breasts, there was sushi and Romulan Ale and techno music and blacklights. It was... ...almost meaningless, in contest. At least I got some of my kicks. Whether anyone else knows, or will remember, in the morning? That's another matter entirely. Always underplay what you CAN do to some extent, it leaves you with a nice margin for necessary surprise. Everyone tries to talk big, to sound impressive, they use the logic that if you can bluff your way out without any trouble it's better than having to actually do something. Interact, people! *shakes her head* I'm going to take painmeds and antihistamines and the dose of anti-seizure medication I forgot to take when I got home. I'm going to read bash.org quotes, webcomics, anything to calm down a bit, find my nice mask again. I'm going to wonder a lot about things I have no way of testing or affecting right now. It's 8:30 in the morning and I wish I was asleep... ...or that the ones I want, the ones I need, were here, awake, with me.
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