Maybe a fear of preachers speaking in Elvish...
Previous - this entry written on February 06, 2004 at 8:58 pm - Next


Tread softly...

...I'm listening to a rush of music, techno songs with just enough melody to keep me here, my attention tangled further with each note. I am already at the point where I couldn't imagine NOT having some of these songs playing.

Becca's current plan is to go to Jamba Juice once Ryan gets back... while I think this is an excellent idea, I'm still in my hide-in-the-house state. I hate it when this catches me. I can tell myself over and over again that it's irrational, that I'll be Just Fine if I go out of the house, but it still gnaws at me with each step away from home. It's not so bad if I'm going with a large group of friends, I can pay attention to them instead of to my discomfort, but if it's only a few people the fear still keeps me bound to the house, to this room, anything and everything familiar.

I want different neuroses (which I haven't the faintest idea how to spell at the moment). I want to be afraid of heights, or be deathly frightened of elephants, or something else that rarely comes into play. Instead I've got the 'fear of going out', the 'fear of being lost/ignored', and the 'fear of my mother'. *shrugs*

Ehh. I think I'm just going to post this as-is. Yes, I'm feeling lazy.

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