...was it something I ate last night?
Previous - this entry written on February 14, 2004 at 9:18 am - Next


I was reading livejournal. Was. Past tense. I can't seem to wrap my head around any of it, the words just float past. I might as well have stared at a blank screen. There's nothing.

Nothing.

Everything I feel is distanced. There's a gnawing in my stomach, but I've eaten. My body aches, but I've taken painkillers. My eyes blur, my hands shake, my mouth is dry. I feel half-dead but I know I still have a pulse.

Maybe I'm just someone else's dream... imagined, conjured up out of one night's collection of arcane moments, crafted from fragments of conversation, the movement of a hand, the taste of salt and wine. Nothing real.

...and maybe what I feel now, this distance, this shattering lack-of-effect, maybe this is simply the god of my dreamlife waking up.

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