I Have Faith
Previous - this entry written on March 01, 2004 at 2:23 pm - Next


*hugs* I am truly sorry that I missed your call, theunre. I hunted for your number when I got home, but I can't find it. Send it to me again... and hold out. I'm curious, and won't email you this question since apparently hotmail ate my last attempt at communication: why the blood, what barrier does it form?

Funny, the things that other peoples' conversations will bring out, memories and dreams and half-forgotten songs that used to fill your thoughts from waking until your eyes finally closed just before the sun began to illuminate the sky. Long, long mornings... walking up to the little gas station that was perched along the closest thing to a main road the sleepy retirement town had, watching the sun start to climb past the mountains into the sky... it was a weekend, nowhere to go, nothing to do, only walking and waiting for sunrise, grateful for the light that took the chill off the air, knowing that soon things would be open, people would be moving and talking and living... some days I miss the coast.

*smiles softly* Her eyes... I remember those, I've always remembered them. Everyone changes, everyone grows, everyone's vision improves until they can see those around them with a new clarity, and from some points of view you could say she's changed, as have I. Her eyes, though... those are the same. Still dark, the whites still shadowed somehow. I'd never seen anyone else's eyes do what hers could do, widen until the iris filled them, darkened completely, or gleam with a red-hot light that some distant part of my mind said I should perhaps fear but that I loved, longed for... when she smiled you could see galaxies in her eyes, stars no larger than pinpricks and dust, swirling and spinning, giving the illusion that when she laughed she was birthing a thousand new universes with each sound.

She's tired now, she worries about her choices, about the prices she may be asked to pay. I think she's wrong, though. I think for once her attention to the world, to those that speak to her in dreams and flames, is blinding her to a truth that I've known and seen for years. I think she has given enough to the world that if anything, this action was the balance, the price she was called on to pay for such gifts, for the wealth she poured out with each smile.

*shrugs, voice quiet*

If I'm wrong, and I may be, then I'll stand beside her regardless. If I'm right, the blood, the tears, the sweat and laughter and smiles and frowns and the thousands of words exchanged between two friends, the years of her life that made it possible for someone else to live and grow... if I'm right, she has already paid in full.

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