not yet

not yet

pounding there is music beat pulse cresting drumming driving inward

anger

so much anger

so much heat

so much

too much

now

now

finally

now

now that I can type

screen lit

hands moving speed swift rush

now there is a nothing that swallows me up

breath and sound

teeth and nails

every inch disappearing into this

hollow

empty

nothing

no one who reads this will connect

there is no pattern

not even the underlying heartbeat music tries to form even music even song even that essential part of me fading

fast

so fast

breathless

soundless

blinding

now

i can't stop screaming