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Previous - this entry written on June 10, 2004 at 4:17 pm - Next Last night was... interesting. Tomorrow I'm going to the damn clinic whether my doctor is there or not. I seem to be unable to avoid stress some nights, medicated or otherwise, and when I get too stressed or too worked up or too whatever-the-fuck-ish, I go all hallucinatory paranoid highly-confused (and therefor even more stressed) Jax. At least last night there wasn't much headache to go with the rest of the insanity. Meh. So today is Thursday and in a perfect world I would be downtown at Powell's by now, if not sooner than this. In an imperfect world I am broke and still kinda shaky from last night - one of my friends ended up in the ER as well, plus there's been a LOT of confusion regarding what I'm doing (and/or WHO I'm doing) and when. I really, really don't dare go out on my own right now even if I could scrape together cash for a couple bus tickets (I've checked, and I have $1.48 to my name at the moment), which is extremely awkward since there is someone I had hoped to bump into. Grr. I can hear various people screaming at each other out in the kitchen. The children are howling. Ryan and Becca are having not-quite-sex on the bed behind me. More screaming. Headache already starting. All I'm hoping for right now is that I can find a particular phone number and use it before I make an ass of myself for the second time in a row... wanted to email, but my email server-thingie is toast. In case you were wondering, NO, this is not the day I'd intended to have. F'ing nightmares to start the day. *throws up her paws* I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how to fix things, where to even start. All I do know is that if I don't do something about this damn headache I'm going to go all petite-mal again and end up unable to talk, unable to type, and feeling even worse. *sighs* Yeah, I'm frustrated. Wouldn't you be?
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