Getting Closer
Previous - this entry written on August 04, 2004 at 8:44 am - Next


One step closer. One step - and such a small step, really. Something that, if things were different, wouldn't even be noticed.

One small step.

Another.

A third, prepared and waiting in the wings.

A fourth, saved, requiring precise timing.

How many steps are there? How long will it take to find your way from the door your first entered so long ago to your place at My feet? For everything I do to you, every choice I force you to make for yourself, every hardship I set on you, every problem and every punishment and every order, all of it...

...all of it is nothing more than step after step after step, bringing you closer to Me.

You're fragile, little one. Your heart is already laid bare so much of the time, your mind beginning to act on instincts that a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, you didn't have. I find you beautiful because of that - when I first claimed you, already you were crumbling under a world of anger and frustration and fear. It is one of My greatest pleasures to heal those cracks, to put you back together and to make sure that you will not fall apart again... but the finished product, the whole, will be Mine. My Kadin, not some random boy. My slave, not a casual fling, not something to be discarded. Mine, in every way.

Remember this, boy: I will always give you an accurate and honest explanation as to why I do something. It will rarely be the only reason.

I am willing to tear you to pieces, to shatter you, even to break you, if it is the only way to ensure that I can bring you back complete, whole, happy. Simply patching up the leaks won't always work... but really, I think I've gotten my point written down here, so I'll stop for now.

Y'know what? Just by reading this, you're one step closer.

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