Customized Affection, Clinically Proven Addictive
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Meh. was the same old same 'how have you been'...

...yeah. Meh. Kidney infection. Stomach problems. Cramps from hell. Headache. Insomnia. We've been here before, it's nothing new, just annoying. However... with bad health comes good art, it seems. *wry grin* So there are two new images that are in theory uploaded to my Deviant Art site (click the art link up there at the top, kiddies).

If you don't feel like going to DevArt, then you can always click here and hope it works: Body Is A Temple and Woke Up Dead Today. The first is just an 800x600 bit, with a touch of text beneath it on the page... the second is a straight image link, 1024x768. First one isn't entirely work-safe, by the way - if someone looking over your shoulder is offended by naked women, then don't click. The central image on the first one is one I've been poking at for a potential layout for Zian but as it's a very small image, so far I've not come up with anything particularly good. Still working though, and maybe my rush of inspiration will include web layouts. *grin*

Other than that... really, other than that, I guess I don't have much else to say. Talked with Kadin tonight... the first time we've had a serious conversation of any length in way too long, really. He feels that I've been... urging him toward submission? That he only craves it when I'm around, the match to my hunger, as it were. I've been trying NOT to push him toward that, if anything, or at least I thought... but now I'm forced to take a closer look at my actions. Hmm.

Nreshan. *grins softly* ...just mentioning you, boyo. Letting you know you're in my thoughts, likely far more than you should be. I know that you are perhaps the most regular reader of these now-sporadic updates, that you DO look here. Comforting, that.

I have no idea how to catagorize 'Nre, y'know. Most people fit neatly into at least one or two of the odd partitions my mind tries to sort people by. Most people I don't really have to think about - I just know. Not him. *amused* He is too many things at too many times to really sort out like that. So I don't... I just enjoy the fact that he exists. And go out of my way to make sure he continues to exist in my life. Yes, Inari, I'm eyeing you now. *even more amused* I know that you are unlikely to read this, as unlikely as he is likely. Even if you did... ehh, you don't read things into or out of text. You'll ask in person or not at all, knowing you. And this... this, you won't understand. This one thing I don't think I can ever really share with you, not when you don't taste this pleasure and find it sweet. Which is a pity. But, pity or not, understand or not, at least I know you accept this one thing. I lay claim to 'Nre, not as I claimed Kadin, not as I claim Caleb, not the rather fragile hold I have on Zian or the bond that once held Torian.

The few of you who really know me well will have a slightly better idea of just how important he is when I say this: Sieia-To, Rahani, and Jeyl are in utter, complete agreement as to his importance to me.

...if I'm not the crack of the cork and the shot in the arm across the room like a four-alarm... some kind of danger, I look that way... I wanna be the prayer answered when you meet me, the pain, the bat, and the blood when you beat me...

This song, this, makes me think of him.

And now I'm going to try to get a few hours' sleep - it's 5:00 in the morning here, WoW just went down for maintainance, and I expect to be back up in four or five hours, at the MOST seven, so the sooner I get to sleep the better. I have Plans for tomorrow.

...the pain, the bat, and the blood when you beat me...

On an unrelated note, I should know better than to re-read old entries from someone I keep trying to forget. *sighs softly* We both had our illusions, m'Lady. You thought I was the strong one. I thought you were. Turns out we were both wrong.

Suddenly I'm glad I have vicodin and alcohol. And that Inari's not around to tell me not to. *goes to get drugged, drunk, senseless and far-from-sober, hopefully to stop hurting enough to sleep*

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