I seriously hope this is PMS, 'cos PMS in theory only hits once a month. o.O
Previous - this entry written on March 28, 2006 at 11:54 pm - Next
It's not that I wanna say goodbye It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me Each and every single day I know I'm going to have to eventually give you away And though my love is rare And though my love is true Hey I'm just scared That we may fall throughI'm like a bird, I'll only fly away I don't know where my soul is I don't know where my home is All I need for you to know is I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away I don't know where my soul is I don't know where my home is ...funny the places your mind goes at midnight when music's playing and the universe for just a moment stands still. Every time, it's the same. Every time, something I wrote what feels like a hundred years ago... I find myself staring at the words flickering against the backdrop of a computer screen, or on paper, or just scrawled in impossible neon on the insides of my eyelids. "Yesterday she asked for forever Today she wants something new" I want forevers. I want to say I'll always be there. I want to demand the same of you, want to hear you say you won't leave, want to hear myself say the same, want... ...and 24 hours later, I'm gone again... ...so far, there has only been one person who has convinced me to stay... ...and only one who knows that I will leave and accepts it... ...and a pawful of others where there is always-shifting-of-lines, where I'm there, they're here, then nothing for days, confusing and frustrating and... ...and yeah. 3 AM came early tonight, I guess. Look into my eyes you will see What you mean to me Search your heart search your soul And when you find me there you'll search no more Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for You know it's true Everything I do, I do it for you Look into my heart you will find There's nothin' there to hide Take me as I am take my life I would give it all I would sacrifice Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for I can't help it there's nothin' I want more You know it's true Everything I do, I do it for you Oh yeah There's no love like your love And no other could give more love There's nowhere unless you're there All the time all the way Listen to your heart babe Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for I can't help it there's nothin' I want more Yeah I would fight for you, I'd lie for you Walk the wire for you - Yeah I'd die for you You know it's true Everything I do, oh, I do it for you Everything I do darlin' I will see it through, I will see it through Oh yeah, yeah Listen to your heart You can't tell me one time darlin' All the way I'll be there Oh yeah One time I would go all the way, all the way So tell me. Am I worth it? Is this, the confusion, the passion, the days spent staring out a window and dreaming, the nights spent curled alone in a bed, the precious hours when it's us, bodies warm against each other, the moments when everything just fits, the conversations, the silences, the need, the desire, the promises and disappointments and fantasies and the times like this, when you can feel me wavering, feel the doubt in my mind, feel me slipping away... ...is it worth it? 'cause it doesn't matter if you've said it a hundred times. These nights, when I'm doubting myself, wondering if what I see right now is all there really is, these are when I need to hear it again. Need, more than anything else, to know you think it all matters. Because it matters to me. You matter to me. ...everything I do... ...yeah. I'm gonna go now. Bed. Sleep, if I'm lucky. Even if I can't believe in it right now... please. Believe that we'll both be there tomorrow. Be HERE tomorrow. That it'll still be real. That it matters. All of it. Everything. Meh. Sleep.
Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven - - Do Not Feed The Moose -
|