American Dreamgirl - not really the topic but the song is stuck in my head. Grr.
Previous - this entry written on April 04, 2006 at 7:58 am - Next

There's a livejournal community called textsecret, where people post things. Anona... fuck it, I have no idea how anything is spelled today. They don't give their names. There. Anyway, there was something posted recently:

I would do anything for you. I lie for you. I give you money you never pay back. I don't complain about your music, even when it's playing until two A.M. and I can't sleep. When you used to beat the tar out of me when no one was looking, I never told on you. If I cried, I did it when no one could see.

I would give you my blood, my kidney, my bone marrow if it were ever needed. If you ever needed a heart transplant and none were available, I'd shoot myself in the hospital to make sure you lived. I would die for you without hesitation. The worst part is that I know you'd never even think about doing the same for me.

Brother, you've never so much as hugged me in my entire life. Some thanks, please?

The way it works is you post your secret as a screened comment on one of the 'post secrets here' entries. Then the community mods go through the secrets, weeding out obvious bullshit, three-page-long entries, and stuff that's not actually secrets, and post the ones that ARE in a series of entries. Each entry contains between 10-30 secrets on average. If you comment on the entry, you're expected to make mention of which secret you're referring to, etc.

My response to this secret:

#9 - Someone very important to me is that way with both his brother and his father, and it's slowly killing him. Do you know that others look at you and your brother and SEE that he is a leech on your life? Giving him everything he wants, being at his beck and call, considering his life more valuable than your own, and him ignoring it, not caring, not noticing, not reciprocating, whatever... it makes him look bad to others and it weakens him.

More importantly (although you might not believe that) it's hurting you. If you are aware enough to see it happening and post about it, even somewhere like this, it's hurting you, and sooner or later it'll be too much. You'll get fed up, and one time when he honestly needs you, you won't be able to help him because you've already distanced yourself.

If you care about him, you might want to shake up his worldview a bit. The next time he demands something, tell him no... or if you can't tell him no, tell him yes, and that you expect a thank you this time. Even a begrudging 'thanks' will give you a bit more confidence, so you can help him when he really DOES need it... and will give him a reminder that he needs to take care of those who take care of him, that if he continues to ignore you, one day you might NOT be there.

We - the person I mentioned and I - will no doubt have a long conversation about this later. I just wanted it posted, so I wouldn't forget.

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