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So I'm writing this on the laptop, listening to "Broken Arrow" by Hans Zimmer, waiting for the drugs to kick in. Thinking. Caleb is snuggled beside me, and gods it's good to have someone physically there, a week apart made me realize how important it is.
Puppy's still slogging his way through visa-ish stuff, looking and planning and waiting for assorted people to answer their voicemails.
THe apartment is, in utter honesty, a disaster area. It needs a thorough cleaning and I am far too easily distracted to do so alone even on my good days.
Look, there's only going to be one real answer to all of this. I'm a computer geekette, or at the very least a 'net junkie. I spend more time staring at a screen than I do looking at anything else. But even I know that life online is no substitute for IRL time together.
We knew the problems CAN be solved, have been solved by hundreds of other people. And now we've seen how much it hurts to be apart.
Pick a date, Kadin. Choose a day when you'll be willing to look over the boxes of stuff a friend from work will be holding onto/mailing to you, wave goodbye to them, and head for the airport. We're adults, intelligent ones, and we can and will make this happen. Pick a date, love... and come home. I need you here.
Radu, you as well - talked to the nice folk in the ambulance from fire and rescuse and apparently LA has no shortage of openings for firefighters etc. Self-defense classes here would be well-attended. Pick a date, pet. A week from now, a month from now, whenever you're comfortable, but set one now.
Torian, I know you have school and work that make your schedule for you... but remember that when you DO have time, you too are welcome here, always. *hugs*
It may be another year or three before Caleb and I move back to Portland. We can, and we WILL, find a place here that holds four people if this one fails to do so.
Puppy, Kadin, I know you both are willing to work at whatever job is necessary; I've seen you decide you needed work and find it within a week, I've seen you hold down jobs through good and bad, I know that you have at least decent work records and can easily get good references. Yes, when you come you will still have to work. Unless and until one of us wins the lottery, that's how it goes.
But you will also have company. Affection. People you can trust. A place where you are welcome to be bugfuck nuts 'cos the rest of us are. Friendship. Love. You won't be alone.
Over the last few months you've started worrying me more and more... not because I think you're going to flip out and kill someone but simply because I can tell you are not happy and you need - NEED - someone to hold you and pet you and tell you it's ok.
Pick dates. Set times. Even if the date is further away than you'd like, just KNOWING there is one set will make a world of difference, I suspect.
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