Previous - this entry written on May 19, 2006 at 2:45 pm - Next
Grr. Hormones. Pretend I'm NOT female for a few days, k? Because I am getting REALLY tired of this. My brain can handle things quite well on its own, it doesn't need your biased opinion or your stupid mood swings. It certainly doesn't need to randomly alternate between jealousy, frustration, annoyance, guilt, lust, and the overwhelming desire to Hurt Something. I mean, even if you'd just fucking PICK ONE and settle on it for a few days I'd be happier. Grr.
It doesn't really help that I know the reasons for most of the mood swings, the... triggers, shall we say. If anything, it's actually making it worse, because I'm very paranoid and not inclined to trust people much at all, these days. I don't want to sit here wondering. I don't want to doubt. I don't want to worry. And no, I sure as hell don't want to talk about it, because I KNOW exactly how stupid it'll come off as and how stupid it IS, so why the hell would talking about it be a good idea? What I DO want to do is just forget it. Move on.
On a side note, here when I get back, my arse. Painful thing is that I knew when you said it that you wouldn't be. Yeah, it shouldn't matter. Just... meh.
It hasn't even been an hour. Half-hour, at the most. I'd say there had better be a good reason, but I'm sure you'll come up with one if I actually asked and just as sure that my bullshit detector will go off, and that I'll only get more frustrated, so I'm not even going to bring it up when next we talk.
Grr. You make me want to take valium, and I'm not even fucking cramping at the moment. I really hate getting this stressed over stupid little things that my brain knows don't matter.
Bright side? We have a referral to Planned Parenthood. Hopefully within the next couple weeks, the mood swings will go away. Yes, the decision is made.
Partly practicality, partly health reasons... but also because if this keeps up much longer I'm going to manage to alienate, piss off, or seriously hurt everyone I know. GRR. LOTS OF FUCKING GRR.
Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven -
- Do Not Feed The Moose -