Another day, another dinosaur...
Previous - this entry written on May 22, 2006 at 4:08 pm - Next
...so yeah, now I'm even more worried. You're obviously VERY on-edge and it's got me more nervous than I like being. You're either at Sarah's house, or she is at yours; either way, she's present and whatever it is you need to talk about you can't say in front of her. I can't help wondering why.
You said she knows about me, that you and she exchanged stories and that most of yours involved me. You said she wanted a vanilla relationship but works as a pro domme, that kind of implies that she won't be too bothered by talk of kink. You said she interests you, that you enjoy her company.
And now you say you need my help and you're way over your head.
So. I just got off the phone with Plaaned Parenthood again. I'd scheduled an appointment and they were going to have a nurse call back to answer my questions since the number you Have To Call to GET said appointment is staffed by clueless secretaries who don't know a damn about the procedure and the people they direct you to call 'for more information' are all either too busy to talk or act like you're a moron for asking things. *shudder* Not going there. Currently researching other options.
Gods, puppy. Worried about you... and wishing you were here, to talk to. So stressed right now it isn't funny. I don't even know when I'll talk to you next; obviously you can't or won't talk when she's around and gods only know when you'll end up alone again. Some part of me is paranoid... afraid she'll find your buttons, push them, keep you somehow. Most of me is just... meh. I don't even know. Be proud: you've managed to make me a bit jealous. Unfortunately, you're also making me worried and frustrated.
I don't want to call any more clinics, I don't want to even THINK about it any more today, but I have to. Can't be put off. Can't wait. Can't do anything. Fuck, I can't even go to the ER, they'd strap me down, ultrasound me, then tell me they can't do anything about the fucking pain because I'm pregnant.
Just got off the phone again (it's just about 5:00 now) and I think I know where I'm going. I won't know for sure if our insurance covers it until tomorrow - going to call first thing, the VERY nice secretary said that they didn't have time to go through the registering procedure which involves talking to a registered nurse and taking down health information, etc. but that they DID still have appointments available for Thursday and to call back in the morning. She was incredibly friendly, very helpful, and although they don't offer nitrous with the procedure, they DO offer full anesthesia, so.
Caleb is bringing home fuzzies - y'know, I'm actually somewhat surprised Angel hasn't posted about them, their effects seem like something she would appreciate... and yes, I still follow her journal - and I've eaten some jello, mousewatched a bit, and am feeling... a bit calmer. I really hope our insurance covers the place I want to go to. Anyway, I'm gonna go throw up, then maybe nap a bit.
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