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If I have not been talking about you, it is because I don't even know where to start. If I have not seen you, not heard your voice, not touched you, it is because I am lost in what I have already seen, heard, touched. If I seem distant, it is because there has been so much between us that still I struggle to process it all. If I have been silent, it is because I am afraid that even the most carefully-chosen of words will be the wrong one, and I will fall from what little grace I have attained in your eyes. If I have not been what you have come to view as normal, it is because lost as I am, I cannot judge normal, cannot hold up masks. If I hide, it is because I am afraid... though I do not know what it is I fear.
If I asked for help it would be a weakness. If I do not ask, it will be a foolish choice. If I speak or if I am silent, it seems there is danger along both paths, and no way that I see to go back...
...so I am seeking a third path, and when I find it, I'll speak again.
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