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Every word he speaks is poison. *sigh* You know how you felt, watching me going back to Kadin, over and over and over again? That sense of helplessness, not the good kind, the unpleasant sort, the bit where you KNOW something is just going to hurt but you aren't able to stop it... yeah.
I know you love him. I know you love them all, you would do anything for them, and that's the problem. Since I've known you, I've watched as you would try to stretch your wings, take flight... and they would reach out, drag you back down, and then scold you for not flying. They take every bit of time and love and attention that you can give. They soak it up. They love it. But what do you get in return, pet? What do YOU get, after you've been there for them, after you've driven your brother around or given your father a place to stay or watched your mother's dogs?
You get treated worse by them than you do by me.
Y'know, maybe that's why you haven't left yet. The masochist in you knows a good thing when it sees it, hm? Gods know you get a sick pleasure out of being put down, used up, treated like shit. *shakes her head* It's so fucking stupid, you wouldn't let a girlfriend walk all over you like this, you'd KILL if someone you cared about was treated like this, but when it's you? Apparently, it's all fine then. What the fuck.
And after you've been hurt, after you've actually been brought to TEARS by him, now you're just casually chatting? You're trying to pretend nothing happened. Trying to patch it up. Trying to be a good little whipping boy, taking each stroke of the lash and smiling afterward.
This is sickening me.
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