Hydration... hydras... hm. Weird train of thought there.
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So how do I put this?


...maybe yes, most of the time, give me 24 hours and I'm fine again. Maybe your "I didn't say what you think I said, you're wrong about everything" should have been enough for me. Maybe I shouldn't have been hurt all over again by listening to you tell me that no woman controls you, that no one could do what she did and get away with it, when what she did is in so many ways what I did, have done, will do... maybe it shouldn't have mattered.

But it did. It mattered, it hurt, and you've not even asked for forgiveness. You've assumed that I would be fine, that I didn't mean it when I said I didn't own you, that you still have the right to come to me for solace. You act like it was nothing, like nothing happened, when I still feel like I was ripped apart, spit on, and now almost ignored.

Yeah, I know, I'm sure I shouldn't feel that way.

I do feel that way though, can't you see that if something hurts, it doesn't matter if it shouldn't hurt so much, it simply DOES, and the pain should be dealt with, not... shrugged off?

I'm a bit more able to focus now; I've drunk a lot of water, gotten a shower, slept a bit. Kate's paycheck comes in around midnight tonight, at least in theory. When I've gotten some actual solid food in me, some caffeine, and some advil - I'm NOT taking any more painkillers until I have something to eat - and my anti-seizure meds down, then we'll talk. So basically, tomorrow.

You're busy tonight anyway; you said so. Viewing an apartment, poker games, likely arguing with that damn cuban girl - yes, at this point I'm seriously starting to hate her very existance, much as I start hating anyone who both does shit to you that's infringing on what had been my territory and anyone who, to put it simply, fucks you up and fucks you over - but to get back to what I was saying, you're busy tonight and I'm still a bit woozy and won't be feeling better until after midnight my time. Tomorrow.

Yes, this is something that apparently needs to be talked about. Yes, I'm sure from your point of view I'm overreacting, overemotional, being stupid, being girlie, etc. Hell, from my point of view some of what I'm feeling is serious overreaction, as I don't technically have any right whatsoever to bitch about her now, which is why I've been trying REALLY hard not to.


In other news, this damn sunburn seriously sucks. Also, getting Head & Shoulders shampoo on a fresh sunburn is one of THE most unpleasant experiences a person can have, IMO.

I'm going to go drink more water, and say 'ow' a lot.

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