Seriously, their beds alone are like HAREM BEDS OF SPARKLY DOOM!
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I leave for the doctor in just under an hour.

I... meh. I'll be going with Deborah, which is ok, but I would so rather have one of Mine here. 's funny, I can walk down the worst streets in town in the middle of the night and just be interested and amused; I can swim in waters that are known to have great whites and be curious, not scared; I can bare my heart here where any stranger who happens across it can see...

...but when it comes to illness, doctors, dealing with physical problems and medical-type people, I am utterly terrified if I have to face it alone. I honestly don't know how well I'm going to cope with this. We're going to get something to eat afterward in theory, pick up my lorazepam, stop by the new doctor's office to pick up the letters she tried to mail out (but forgot to put the apartment number on apparently, so they got returned) so I can schedule appointments with a psychiatrist and a pain management specialist, and then home. At the moment, I have this nasty suspicion that by the time I get done talking with the doctor and doing whatever tests they decide to do I'm just going to want to crawl into a nice deep hole somewhere and seal it shut behind me.

Want to know the weirdest part? The main reason I know I'm going to be able to cope, to at least get through the appointment, is that I know if I called Puppy right now he would answer. This is when he normally works, but I have no doubts whatsoever that he would find a way to pick up the phone. Cate is likely very busy and possibly mid-meeting, Torian may be working, may be asleep, and at any rate calling Israel is somewhat unpractical, Angel is likely at work or otherwise unavailable, Rhia's not home, gods only know what Rhett and Nick are doing, I suspect Kadin's likely at work, ditto Ryan and Becca, I'm not even sure what Scott's current phone number is, and there isn't anyone else on the face of the earth that I would think of calling at a time like this.

But if I called him, Puppy would be there.

I've woken him at insane hours of the night, called in the middle of workdays, rang him while he was with parents, brother, friends, in the middle of tournament, and wherever it is, whenever it is, he's been there when it mattered.

Right now, that's a Very Big Thing. So yeah, I'm going to drink my half-a-cup of caffeinated soda (I refuse to try to get through this with no food AND no sugar/caffeine to keep me willing to even move), wish I'd gotten more than four hours of sleep, be happy that my hair smells nice - Torian, thank you for leaving that shampoo, I use it when I'm having a bad day 'cos it makes me smell like you and cheers me up - and then try to find something I'm willing to wear. Deb should be here in... hmm, about 45 minutes now. I can do this. I don't need someone here to hold my hand, even if I really want it. I've dealt with this shit on my own quite a few times in the past, I can cope with this.

Hehe... also? Blood Elf land is FUCKING GORGEOUS. Pretty sparkly shiny deadly amazingly beautiful wonderful kickass and my GOD they do SPINS in MIDAIR whee! Yes, I've rolled an alt on Stonespire. ^.^ I couldn't resist. And, if you're in the mood to read a day far worse than any I have had recently, check this out.

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