Sick and scared awake...
Previous - this entry written on August 05, 2007 at 4:17 pm - Next
Nightmares. Something like 14 hours of sleep and all of it nightmares. The snakes... those were the worst, and the reason I'm not going back to sleep. The coast was bad enough, all the wrong memories making this setting that I knew was Manzanita and at the same time it was off, shadowed and dark and dank and... horrible. I was poisoned eighteen times that I can remember, raped four times, got to watch my daughter die six times, people I love die more times than I can count, and the snakes... *shudders* ...I wanted to die, when they had me. it felt so peaceful, I could see how easy it would be to just stop fighting, lay back, let them bite again, and all the pain and fear would just... go away. I woke up just when I was about to let go my grip on the two I was fighting off right then.
NOT going back to sleep without massive medication and hopefully not even then. Should know better than to try to sleep when I'm sick. I fairly often have bad dreams. Admittedly, bad dreams of THIS magnitude aren't all that usual, but still.
I haven't had nightmares like this in a very long time. I should check my temperature, see if I'm feverish. That would explain it a bit.
Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven -
- Do Not Feed The Moose -