I feel like I've been run over by a cement truck.
Previous - this entry written on August 25, 2007 at 4:20 am - Next

I got shaken out of a sound sleep by the phone ringing repeatedly just after midnight... it was Puppy. Drunk. Very drunk. I haven't been able to get back to sleep, the last of the really GOOD painmeds wore off before I could drift off again, and so I've been curled up on the beanbag chair in the living room watching stupid movies, most of 'em Lifetime Specials. *mutter* I am NOT thrilled.

To make matters worse, I'm due to refill a couple of scrips and see the doctor, all of which is stupidly and immediately expensive - this wouldn't be a problem this time around if they hadn't screwed up my scrip earlier and only given me a 60-pill bottle when they were supposed to give me a 120 bottle, and if I hadn't been going to the damn ER so many times, having to fill scrips from there (no, I can't just NOT fill the antibiotics and the painmeds, not unless I want to get worse and don't want to sleep, move, or be civil) and getting lovely bills. Seriously, this is driving me nuts; this is what, the third month this year that my medical bills have eaten the entire paycheck? Something like that. NOT cool. Not happy. Definitely not fun.

I'm tempted to take it out on Puppy, pull the cash I need from him. It's his fault that I'm awake right now, after all. *wry grin* Unfortunately, right now he's a bit screwed over financially too, courtesy of his fucking father. Why the HELL he hasn't gotten that man fucking LOCKED UP for criminal acts including theft, bank fraud, and general idiocy, I do not know; it's starting to really bother me though. I'm not the only one, anyone he gets involved with for more than oh, a week, starts hating his family. Honestly, I think that he has quite a bit of hate too, he just bottles it up and tries his best to ignore it, or to aim it at someone else. His wrestling is definitely one of the areas he channels it, and raiding used to be another... courtesy of That Cuban Bitch he's pretty much left WoW barring the occasional hour or two on a new server. *sigh*

So yeah, stressing, hurting, trying to figure out what the hell to do about it. I'm actually tempted to get drunk for the first time in quite a while. It'd help, sorta... and hey, it might let me get the fuck back to sleep. On the other paw, it might just make me sick to my stomach and leave me looking stupid if I end up in the ER today - yes, I do have to consider that, with as much pain as I'm still in and how many times this ER has screwed up I wouldn't be surprised if I had to go there AGAIN for something related to this stupid miscarriage.

Maybe some ginger tea will help. Not likely, but it'll taste good even if it doesn't help, neh? And we've got honey to put in it, or should anyway, and maybe I can make some oatmeal... oh. Crap, never mind. Not much of it left, I'd do better to save it until I'm sure of what I'm doing and whether or not I'm going to throw up again. I'm not sure what else I can really do just at the moment. I've taken Alieve - I took Advil with the opiates, and tylenol will fry my stomach even worse - and can't take any more for at least another eight hours, I'm not supposed to take aspirin often 'cos it'll thin my blood, and alcohol is so very likely to make me throw up that it's not even funny. *sigh* Oh yeah, and standing up for more than a minute or two hurts bad enough to make me want to black out.

Ehh. I've felt worse. Not MUCH worse, but I have felt worse. Just gotta keep taking deep breaths, not move around any more than I have to, and wait until morning. I can do this.

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