Also hopefully one who will be up front about what she expects with a pain contract. I'd assumed it was for the vicodin, that's the one she refused to give without one, the rest she'd had no trouble with... so imagine my shock when I call because I'm out of lorazipam a few days early and she says that's grounds for not treating me any more. o.O Family. Loud construction EVERY DAY. At least one serious migrane a day since the construction started. Family holidays approaching, I have to spend time with my parents, I've been stressing over bills, trying to get more than two hours' sleep a night and usually failing... seriously, this is NOT the time of the year to start short-changing me on the drug that's supposed to prevent panic attacks and gran mal seizures. No. Just NO.

I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm worried, I'm frustrated... and the doctor filled my scrip. Wrote on it: take 4x daily for one month. 4 x30 is? Anyone? That's right 120. How many did the bottle contain? 90. THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING EVERY MONTH SINCE I STARTED GOING TO HER AND EVERY FUCKING MONTH SHE SAYS NO, it got fixed, it can't happen again, you must have read the bottle wrong, come pay me $20 again and I'll write you a scrip for the ones that got left out and you can go pay $30 for them at the pharmacy, 'cos clearly I have an extra $50 to waste on someone else's mistake EVERY MONTH. *screams in frustration*

It's just STUPID.

Another point, as to why cutting my dosage is not only bad for me but silly? The dosage is based on BODY WEIGHT. I weigh near 300 pounds. I am NOT thin. I am not slender. Add in a crappy digestive system and yes, I DO have to take more of most medications than, say, a 22-year-old size-6 yuppie without an inch of body fat on her would require. It's nothing to do with my 'outlook', it's HOW MOST MEDICATIONS WORK. If you had a headache, would you take half a child's aspirin and expect it to work as well as a couple of advil? Or if you were having your teeth pulled, would you want a child's dose of novocane or an adult's? Same fucking thing here. If it offends you to give me drugs suitable to my current weight, then why am I wasting your time at all? Yes, I'm trying to slim down again. Yes, it's HARD; I'll lose a bit over the winter and hopefully keep it off, but it's not like I can snap my fingers and have it all just drop off. *twitch* Treat me for the problems I have, to the degree that I have them, with effective treatments, and we'll get along fine. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a doctor to treat my problems to the degree I have them with treatments that are effective on them, is it?

*storms off, still annoyed, to curl up and nap or something* At least then maybe my side will figure out how to get rid of the gnomes with oversized icepicks.