No, I still haven't really slept.

After the horrible phone call, I took two amitriptyline, so at least I'll be sleeping soonish. Cate should be getting up within a half-hour to start her own work; if I take amitriptyline early in the night and Cate crawls into bed with me she gets enough of a dose of the stuff that it knocks her out all day, so I've been avoiding taking it... well, for that reason and a few others.

It will let me sleep though, and that is, at this point, what matters. I've finally gotten my brain off of the track it had been on only to end up thinking about Puppy, Nreshan, Kadin, and Alex. Yeah, you can just imagine how well I'm doing right now, dead tired, stressed, frustrated, back hurting because by now the painmeds I took earlier have worn off and I don't want to take more if I'm just going to fall asleep, and to top it all off, I'm getting overemotional. Yeesh. Anyone who tells you hormones are good and useful clearly hasn't ever had an intense relationship or a bitter breakup.

Oh, I'll be fine once I've slept, and I can tell that pretty much everything I'm feeling right now is just a product of my lack of sleep and general frustration. I'm not even all THAT depressed, compared to some days. Still, it's unpleasant, inconvenient, and does make it that much harder to fall asleep. Plus it pretty much guarantees I'm going to have fucked-up dreams.

Meh. It's funny, I've gone from having pretty much all boys to having pretty much all girls, something I used to think I would never do. I'm still not entirely sure how it happened, and gods know I would be so much less stressed with a boytoy around right now, but ehh. *wry grin* At this rate, by the time I'm 30 I'll be a lesbian though.

*glances at the clock* Just a few more minutes to kill, and then I can go curl up and read while I wait for the drugs to knock me nicely unconscious.