I had a point, but it's too hot, it melted away... gonna go lay down now.
Previous - this entry written on April 12, 2008 at 3:12 pm - Next

It's rare that I do anything to one I'm training that doesn't have several reasons behind it - not talking about whims and little things, but orders, acts that require time or effort, commands that I clearly give for a conscious reason, those rarely have just one purpose. Some of the reasons for them are easy to see or guess, some are convoluted enough that I'm lucky if I can ever put them into words, and some are better accomplished if they are not explained the moment the order is given. Why am I bothering to say this?

I have the pair who are living with us collared, after a fashion, and in training. There are reasons for this, too; the biggest ones being that both of them could use an outside opinion at times... on the whole they're more likely to keep from breaking up, killing each other, or just throwing temper tantrums every other hour if they have someone else to arbitrate and to keep them calm... both of them, for various reasons, have asked for my advice or teaching or aid in various situations... and as long as I feel comfortable rather literally yanking one or the other over my lap and spanking them if they're being stupid, it's sooo much easier to keep things as calm as they can get around here.

Yes, this is ME, of course I enjoy having two beautiful, entertaining, clever little creatures collared and reasonably obedient. Thing is, I'm not bloody likely to get to KEEP them. One of the main goals of their training is to give them more skills and knowledge for use when they are dominant, another is to make it easier for them to satisfy each other. Fun as it sometimes is, and much as I've adored some moments, the simple fact is that they are not Mine to keep... simply Mine to train, for now.

Occasionally I end up wondering why it is that I'd put this much effort into pets that I know I'll only have briefly; after all, wouldn't it be easier on me to just leave them to their own devices? Every time I start to think that, though, something happens that reminds me of one of the other reasons for taking them as I have.

With the two of them wearing my collar, following my orders, then even when I'm missing Torian or Kadin or Nreshan or even Elru's Kim, I can look at them and be comforted a little bit. With the two of them suitably obedient and aware that the household is NOT a democracy, there are far fewer arguements or over-long discussions even. And...

...when I find myself too caught up in memories to speak, aching with fragments of the past, I can pull one of them over, touch them, reassure myself that I still exist. *shrug*

Also? It is too fucking hot here. Seriously, what the hell is up with this weather? It was snowing a week ago, now there's a heatwave, WTF? *twitch* I'm dying of the heat. Not cool.

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