...watch over me? Fat chance. He's got someone else he's far more worried about, and he's going to bed, and really? He wouldn't know what to do anyway.

Cate's gone, Kim and Max are in bed on their way to being sound asleep, I'm not likely to answer the phone... 500mg so far, let's see just how stupid I'm feeling tonight.

It doesn't do any good. It never does. Any time you trust someone else to take care of something or someone, you're screwed from the get-go. It's even worse if there's love involved, then not only are you screwed, you're pretty much guaranteed that when shit falls apart it's going to HURT.

I really hope they remember to feed the hamsters.

I learn to hate myself every day
told to cry or cum
I lick your heels 'till my mouth bleeds
maybe you'll kick me some

Why even try? It only makes things worse.

If I could, I'd be getting fuzzed instead of getting myself unconscious. Hell, if I'm still conscious and able to talk when Cate finally crawls home I may ask her to find some - they'd be enough to keep me going, and likely prevent some of the less pleasant side effects of taking this much amatryptaline.

No, I'm not planning to take more. If it wasn't for the phone ringing, for the look he gave me, and for the moment where I got hit over the head by the reminder that there isn't anyone who cares HERE, I might not have taken more than my normal dose.

...oh, who am I kidding? After what I saw earlier, there's no way I'd get through tonight without doing something stupid. After all, I won't be the only one.