Previous - this entry written on July 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm - Next
*sigh* Yeah, that was a bit too rude. I know Cate's tense, I know they were playing D&D, I know I shouldn't have snapped at anyone, particularly not her.
I've been incredibly frustrated the past few days. Our house is overloaded on people, to start with - Tiana, David, Scott, Dalton, it feels like we always have company over.
Kim is working now, but only made enough money for her ferret, and it didn't occur to her that maybe she should wait until she can get supplies for it, too - she's got a tiny bag of food, barely enough cage bedding, no litter for a litterbox, no extra toys, nothing.
We're going to still be broke after this coming paycheck - we have an insane amount of overdraft fees. Kim had agreed to wait to get the ferret until AFTER we dealt with that, but apparently changed her mind and Cate, who knew that she was supposed to be saving cash, let her get it anyway.
I'm tired of Cate's apathy. She's got apathy, anger, and no-emotion-at-all as her only three possible states. Sure, give her drugs and she perks up for a little while, but argh. She tells me she doesn't feel like part of the group sometimes... might that be because she never participates, just sits off in her own little world being depressed and angsty? *headdesk* I love her, and it's incredibly frustrating to see her so unhappy. She deserves to be happy, she's helped keep us together. I just wish that she actually WAS happy, that it would be possible to have a conversation with her that's full of emotion and interest. I feel like I'm living with a brick wall sometimes.
Kim and Max are living here rent-free, no bills, nothing. In return, they're supposed to clean, to carry shit, and to do things like answering the phone and opening the door. Particularly on days like today, where just making it to my chair is something of an accomplishment, they need to be paying attention.
Best part of all this? I'm right on the edge of seizure-state... so they are off in a separate room playing D&D. There's not a single person out here. And y'know, fuck it. For all I know, I'd be a lot happier with my head cracked open. I'm starting to suspect that everyone else would be happier too.
...meh, ignore that last bit. I'm just ranting. At least now that I've got this all out of my system, I'll be a little bit calmer while I wait for my seizure, which I am quite sure is coming - I have to retype one out of every five or six words.
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