Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one two of us who's counting on
That never happens
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this now

Rock and roll, baby
Don't you know that we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
Give me something to sing about

...how do I even begin to say it? There's no way, not without sounding either overdramatic or overemotional or both, particularly after the fact. There's no explanation I can give that will be enough - yes, I know that. I know just how royally fucked things may seem. I... I know just how many edges I'm balanced on right now. I know a lot of things, and none of them change what I've been thinking.

Ok, that's not true. Two things, two people, who wouldn't deserve having to deal with that. So... 24 hours. Long enough for something to go right for a change, maybe. Long enough to get over the stupid early-morning-depression, more than likely.

'cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
than have to forget you for one whole minute

Bright side to all this? I'm writing again. Apparently this kind of misery feeds my muse. Sadistic, vicious bitch. Ehh, I've heard her voice whispering in my ears for years, and gods know I'd started to worry about her absence. I was starting to think that just maybe, I'd lost her.

Oh, and Kadin, thanks for the music. *slight smile* It's been quite satisfying. A lovely soundtrack for a bit of mental backtracking, actually. A few pieces of my silver-furred feline's backstory whacked me upside the head again and are fitting in nicely with the ivory and the gears. All sorts of delicious plot speculations.

On an unrelated note, no matter what ~I~ decide to do in the span from now until ridiculously early/late tomorrow night, I'm going to just block his freaking address if he fucks this up. It's been just a little bit too much and frankly, things would have been simpler and in a lot of ways less emotionally draining if he hadn't led me on. Yes, led me on. I'll say this for him, the boy's a better storyteller than anyone gives him credit for. I can't help wanting to hear the next chapter, even if I know it's just going to leave me as miserable as this one.

Bastard. *said half-disgustedly, half-fondly* Ehh. I often say that people get what they deserve. I just wish karma hadn't been quite so SNARKY about it.