For right now... here. Rant time.

How many times do I have to tell people that I write what I write because it's THERE? That this isn't some gigantic fucking popularity contest, that being mentioned in here usually means I'm either pissed at you or you did something great all of ten minutes before I sat down to write? That this is NOT a place for huge love-fests, that it's my rantbook, that it's full of meaningless ramblings and occasional bits of usefulness but that I REALLY don't even want to talk about it all that much?

I put stuff in here so I don't have to talk about it.

If you're not mentioned all that often, why the HELL do you think that's bad? It means that maybe, just MAYBE, I'm not pissed at you, able to talk to you, willing to explain myself to you, and not really worried about you. It means I think that you're ok.

GAH.

Idiots, raging idiots, all of you! Yes, you know who you are... the ones who read as if you're drowning, the ones who think that any time a few days go by without a mention of you, it's because I hate you or I don't think about you.

The ones who think that if I mention you jokingly, you mean nothing to me. The ones who think that if you get tangled up in the other 99% of things-I-should-remember and slip through the cracks, that it's all about YOU, that I did it on purpose, that I hate you or can't stand you, or really never think about you.

Well, I'm thinking about you now, kiddies. I'm thinking about you and grinding my teeth and wishing more of you were here in town so I could slap you all senseless!

I'm really, truly sick of this shit. Sick of feeling that I have to mention everyone... it's like being five years old and being afraid that if I don't mention EVERYONE in my prayers, whoever I forget is going to die.

*grin* Which, incidentally, was far too much of a power trip to put a five-year-old on.

But I'm wandering off-topic here. The current topic is that YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

See, if you just now took that statement personally, if you're CERTAIN that I am writing about you... odds are good you're right. Odds are good that you're one of the egotistical assholes who assumes the world, or at least MY world, revolves around him or her. Odds are good you're one of the people who... well, bottom-feeder might be a good term to use here. You're fucking DETERMINED to glean every little bit of ego-stroking and offense you can from words that nine times out of ten, weren't meant to give either.

Gods.

You make me SICK right now... although that might be the kidney stone and the fact that I haven't eaten much at ALL in the last few days.

Speaking of which, ouch.

Much ouch.

Ok.

I think I'm done ranting for now... just do me a favor. Think twice before you bitch about not being mentioned. Think twice before you complain that I only say shit about you.

This is MY DIARY. My journal. I rant here. That's what it's FOR. Being mentioned in here... it's not always good, ok? Learn to live with that, or stop reading.

I'm not forcing ANYONE to read except Kadin, and, well, I want to force him. It's what he's there for.