Anyway... current plan... get meds on Friday if I can, if not then on Saturday if I'm lucky... if not, then I'll be in misery saturday until monday. Not looking forward to that. Too much pain.

There are ants in Spike's cat's food dish. Poor cat - high-protein diets are good, but not when they are crunchy like ~that~.

I really wish Torian'd come online. *shrugs* This is part of why I am so very determined to train him and so very determined to teach him - I LIKE having him around, he makes me smile generally, he's quite pleasing usually.

Spike-boy is hanging up clothing from the garage door sliding-thingie. He's sort of trying to move in here. And thus, to clear off the futon/bed. And he's almost going to succeed, I think, which will be good because then I can have snuggles.

I am feeling very disjointed, this entry.

I've a horrid pain in my stomach, and oddly enough, so does he... he's been getting cravings too, and nausia, and headaches. I think he may be doing the sympathy thing, which although cool in a way, sucks in others, 'cos I don't really want my friends feeling miserable just because I do. The ONLY time that applies is when it's emotional misery, and then I want to be able to take it out on my boys.

I want my boys here, somehow, now.

I could REALLY use the company of a nice, obedient, cooperative slaveboy. It would make me happy beyond happy.

I've got my tarot cards here after all - they were in the other bag that I'd left over here, thinking I wouldn't need it. *wry grin* So I have them now, even though I didn't have them on Beltaine.

There's a black satin-ish and a red cordeuroy cushonchairthing up on a shelf - you know, the things that are stuffed and padded and look like just the back and arms of a chair? Meant for leaning back on when one is sitting on the floor or up in bed? Those things. They are pretty, and I think they are Spike's, and I am wondering why he didn't use 'em on his bed. He needs more pillows.

Somehwere I can hear what is either a police siren, an ambulence sire, a firetruck siren, or Spike whistling oddly.

I really am unbelievably tired suddenly. I don't know why. I want to curl up with a good book. And Spike has Tiger Balm on his desk.

Poor Kadin - you don't even know where to find me tonight. I wonder if you'll try calling? *shrugs*

There isn't really any reason for me to keep typing, it's not like I have anything useful to say, but somehow I can't seem to stop typing. I think there is something I'm waiting to say, but it's not coming out, and I have no idea what it is, so... ehh.

I am very confused by life.

I am also very confused by Spike's cleaning and organizing attempts. It's ALMOST logical... but somehow still odd, somehow. Baffling. But hey, he has more blankets to use now. This is a good thing. It'll get cold out here in the garage.

There's a knife on the table here.

Damn, but it's tempting.

Mustn't. Won't. But I hurt so much already... *sighs*