Vicodin, violence, and two of the most amusing people I know. *smile*

I'm still wondering just what exactly to do with Radu, whether or not to keep him around, whether or not he's served his purpose. Nameless, unowned slave - when I'm done with him he will disappear, not even existing any more.

A harsh fate.

I'm still hooked on "Slept So Long" and "Lose Yourself", both of them playing quite frequently with a spattering of "Costume For A Gutterball" and "Uninspired"... a bit of the old, a bit of the new, and me drowning contentedly in the middle of it all.

Angel's got a d-land account now - had I mentioned that? She does, and it's being quite amusing, reading... and knowing that she is likely to see at least a few of these entries. I'm not sure how pleasant a change it is, but... yeah. *wry grin* Remind me to go back and re-read stuff sooner or later, make sure it's... wait.

No.

NOT editing any of this. Not for anyone, not for her.

"People in chatrooms are often disturbed if you go into the chatroom with the handle 'little_yellow_peep'..." - courtesy of Candice, who frightened a Legolas and argued with an Evil_Black_Peep and apparently there was a Sailor Peep...? Gerble.

*hides*

...his palms are sweaty, knees weak... he opens his mouth but the words won't come out... snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity... you better lose yourself in the music, the moment... you only get one shot...

Yeah.

Only one shot.

Talking with the Tygrrr yet again/still... he'd gotten ill, pretty much out of it, and despite his little dove's best efforts, I'm still in contact with him and he's still in contact with me.

There are VERY few things in life that thrill me as deeply as listening to someone like Snowtygrrr, someone strong and calm and so very in-control, suddenly having his voice catch, tremble... hearing him weak, not helpless but close enough to make every word from his lips scream 'prey'... gods, so delicious.

I'm having a lot of fun showing Torian off today... he's come so far in the time that I've owned him, changed from a rebellious, stressed-out, disobedient, hesitant piece of meat to a slave so beautiful and so pleasing that it nearly takes my breath away just reading what he writes... a slave who holds a portion of my heart, a slave who has more than earned my praise and the pride I feel in him... and more than that, a friend and a lover and a treasured pet as well. He amazes me.

Gods, but I've missed talking with Rhett. It's comforting in the weirdest ways. *wry grin*

I know, I'm jumping around a lot in this entry, but I'm vicodin-ed up and being very distracted by said Torian and said Rhett, and quite content with this distraction.

*chuckles softly* ...and I'm having a very odd moment of conversation with Rhett right now.

See, of all the men in my life, he's... like Kadin and Caleb and Torian and Daris, he's unique. There isn't any of my boys who can do what he does, who could fill the place he has in my life. And part of that place is this: when he actually gives an order, my boys WILL listen. I get to argue with him. They don't. And they know it.

And he knows it.

One of the main reasons he gets this is because I trust him NOT to give orders that would harm my boys, or harm me, in ways that I couldn't accept and wouldn't allow. Another reason is that for him to be what I need and crave, the control he has, has to be REAL. A third reason is that it really does comfort me to know that if necessary, if I had to disappear for some reason, I could entrust the care of my boys to him and he would treat them as I would wish... and as he would wish.

*shrugs slowly*

I trust him in this.

Damn... it's 4:30 already, the movie starts at 7:00 and I'll need a bath, if I am going to go, but Deb's in the bathtub... hrm.

Staying keeps sounding better and better.