Ehh... here goes.

So. Virgin-boy. Who I might add is more tempting, the more time I spend around him. And, at least according to the more reputable sources I've found... is gay? *blinks*

Doesn't come across as such. Bi... yeah. But... hm.

I've just run into an old friend on Furcadia... and I'll be calling Kadin in a moment, waking him out of what will likely be a fairly sound sleep at this point. Talking with Torian... and in a strangely distant way, Arrasto. It's always confusing, when someone else first begins to split. Takes a while for things to settle.

Hungry - yes, THAT kind of hungry.

Going nuts, courtesy of same.

I have tests I need to do, but they'll want blood and I've been chickening out so far. *winces* Tomorrow's pain management, and I'm half-tempted to chicken out of that too.

I just want to rest.

To feed, somehow.

I... haven't... of late. It's getting bad now. Really, seriously bad. To the point where my hunger is, soon, going to outweigh self control. That's never really a useful thing to have happen. Most of my safeguards seem to be eroding, and I suspect that until I snap them back into place I'm going to turn into deathwish girl again.

Hate that.

Hate this feeling.

Hate these urges.

Which boils down to: hate myself.

...release...

Torian's fighting himself right now. And I am 99% certain that interfering will actually make it worse. Which really sucks, because that only makes it all the more tempting. Shatterpoint. He's so very close... so very, tantalizingly close... that edge is right there, the one V'lad and I so enjoyed watching him dance along.

He holds that inside.

Waits.

Wonders when it'll all turn on him.

Soon...

...so soon...

...I just hope I'm there to see it.