Grr.

Haven't actually gotten to talk to him today. Feels odd.

Anyway. I'm headed out for drinks with Ken and Scott. Time will tell if this is a good idea.

I'm bringing my sharpie markers and a vicodin, and a lot lot lot of depression that I refuse to let out tonight but that's going to follow me around until Saturday.

Depressed. Still need to write that bit - the lovely fernaholic reminded me, but I've not written it yet because I Realized Something Important - I was really tired. And so I went to bed. Slept a lot, ran a lot of errands, ehh...

...I want to curl up somewhere safe and sleep for days. No bill-worries. No time-worries. No health-worries. Just sleep.

And no more licking of ashtrays around me, thank you! *shudders, amused and horrified at the same time*

What'll I wear? Do I care? Do I have any idea why I'm going to leave when I KNOW the Dixon household will be calling Caleb in a couple hours and that Kadin will likely be calling in about the same amount of time?

Oh. Yeah.

I do, sadly.

I know exactly why I'm running scared, and I really don't want to talk about it, because it is not all that pleasant and something I am hoping will just Go Away.

I really wish I'd gotten to say g'night to Arrasto. *shrugs*

Then again, I wish I was rich, powerful, and healthy, too. Wishes, fishes, it's all the same, right?

No, I don't really know what I'm saying any more. I'm typing, trying to get something out, something I've been wanting to say and needing to say, and it's so not happening. Eh. Drinks. I will get drunk. Maybe that will help.