There's no one in particular online at the moment - yes, I am braving Messenger - and I am having one hell of an odd night. Tempted to masturbate, tempted to smoke a bit more, tempted to pull out a clove, tempted to go for another long bath, tempted...

...it is a night of temptation. And yes, there is actually something very particular I want to do, or a set of somethings, and I can't. They are fantasies, all of them, ones I don't dare even give the strength that writing them out can give.

You see, these are the sorts of things that I know I do NOT want to encourage myself to do, since they involve all sorts of highly interesting and highly non-consensual things with people I actually know and care about. This makes them shameful. Doesn't stop me from cumming while happily thinking them, but it DOES make me careful to keep them as FANTASY, not letting them slip into anything that even pretends to be reality.

No... no hints. But if it helps to underscore the point, go take a look at Briar. The stuff there, I felt safe enough writing it down... you can be assured that my thoughts are infinitely worse than anything put down there. Disturbs me, at times.... just knowing what's inside this head disturbs me.

I am easily upset, I think.