I need to get laid more. This is tricky, since if I get laid during one of my dizzy points, I black out and wake up with a headache.

If I even MASTURBATE, that happens... or I don't cum, which is worse... my body is turning off my ability to cum and I do not like this at all.

It is leaving me very frustrated and very very very tense. I need people to just start throwing me down and fucking me senseless whether I protest, pass out, etc. or not... it would, at this point, be better for me than the alternative.

*sighs*

I keep wanting to masturbate... but the easiest way and best way is with the damned loud vibrator, and Caleb is once again asleep. Then again, it's 4:30, I can damned well wake him up soon. *grins*

Besides, he can help. And I know he won't mind getting laid. I just... gah. See, I feel guilty having sex with someone when it's all about my orgasm, when it's all about me cumming and passing out and that's that. It feels... hollow. I don't like it.

I'd rather masturbate, then devote proper attention to sex at another time.

Weird... but me. *shrugs*

Trust me, I don't understand it either.