Yeah. Quoting lyrics again.

I'm... depressed is a good word. Miserable is another one. Hungry, aching, desperate, pathetic, cowardly, needy, outraged, worried, aroused, dark, shadowed, falling, hoping, reaching, wanting, craving...

...more adjectives needed, or do you get the gist?

Ok.

Good.

I'm tempted to start playing with darkness again, see how deep I can go... it'll be another three hours before the boy arrives. Another three hours before I can talk to him.

I keep expecting him to come online... say "I thought about it, and I'm not coming back," and leave.

I wrote while I was at Subway, two entries, put them on the Palm... maybe I'll add them later.

For now, I'm drowning myself in 8 stops 7 music, Eve 6 music, Finger Eleven, Rob Zombie... darkness flowing in lyrics and sound, painfully sweet anger and rage... so pretty.

So fucking pretty.

Yep... watch me spiral down. *slight smile* My bard is online, trying to be sweet and comforting and loving, and all I want is to rip him apart... or have him tear me apart... I want the pain.

His pain.

My pain.

ANYONE's pain... but it needs to exist, I need to believe that I'm not alone in this ache.