Desire Renewed
Previous - this entry written on February 01, 2004 at 12:00 pm - Next


*shivers, licking her lips, hips still twitching with occasional flashes of pleasure, gaze distant*

Damn... balance or not, there's quite clearly a leaning in favor of sadism on my part right now, considering that I just had one hell of an intense orgasm imagining the rape... no, not merely rape, the violation of a helpless boy, watching him cry with each motion, drinking in his shame at what arousal I allow him to feel, savoring every second of his pain... Daya, but that was a delicious daydream.

Indoors - for some reason I actually have a hard time getting off on some actions when outdoors, and that... intense... a rape is one of them. Teasing? A quickie? Then the thrill of being in public adds to it, certainly. What I was picturing was private. Not to be shared. Certainly not something I would want interrupted.

Violation, raping someone's mind as well as their body, it's not something I could actually DO to a total stranger. Or rather, I likely could, but it wouldn't get me off, and certainly wouldn't be anywhere near as much of a thrill. I like it personal. I like knowing that the whimpering, sobbing, half-shattered form beneath me is the same one I will draw back up, giving new strength, that the next day the one I claimed will walk just a little bit straighter, surviver, knowing that the world has that much less chance to ever hurt him again.

*chuckles slightly* ...or maybe I just like hurting the ones I love. You never really know.

I think it would be safe to say, however, that if I've never tried to hurt you, never teased you, never tormented you, if I've never hinted at a desire to hold you down, to fuck you until you screamed, to drink your tears... then while you may be a friend, you'll never be more.

Damn. And I'm STILL having aftershocks. *shiverpurrs, slipping back into her attempt to catch up on journals and emails*

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