Discovering Home
Previous - this entry written on July 02, 2002 at 4:44 pm - Next


...the tears are filling up their glasses... no expression, no expression...

...and I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad...

...feeling. Experiencing. Living. Breathing. Being.

And better than those, better than anything else, I hold the heart and soul of someone I love in my hand... teasing, playing, hurting, holding, everything and more. Perfection wrapped in text and distant aching body...

...nothing can surpass this, save experiencing such bliss in person.

And I will, somehow, someday.

I refuse to let such delight pass me by.

...watch me... crumble... I'm dying tonight... I'm giving in to you...

...take me under...

...everything is so delicious right now. Admittedly, part of that is colored by a heavenly bowl of homemade soup I am devouring between bursts of typing and evil grins, but even without that, things are... good... right now.

...I'm dying tonight... I'm giving in to you...

...funny. Thinking of Rhett now. *soft smile* One of the few people I am NOT talking with online at the moment, and yet that song and this moment brings him into my thoughts.

And then "Halcyon and On and On" spirals into hearing and suddenly there is a flood of Al-X memory and the questing tiny hopeful kisses Kadin presses to my lips in a flash of past joy. The world is beautiful.

My boys are beautiful.

I am beautiful.

Isn't this how things should be?

Thank god for antibiotics... yes. Nearly dying is not fun and not pleasant. Yes, if you were worried about me, I AM sorry... but worrying was, for once, reasonable. Looking back... *shivers* ...I came a bit too close to slipping out of the universe for good, there. I'm just glad there were people here who noticed what was happening and got me to the hospital and made sure I got the antibiotics down even when I was hurling.

I'm glad I have friends, and family. Not the legal family I grew up with... but real family. Family that's here. That I can trust. That cares.

My family. *blinks*

Maybe, just maybe, I am home after all.

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