Did I ever have you?

Caleb is going to california and I can't afford to pay bills here at the Dixon household. I don't know where ~I~ will be in January, let alone where there will be room for anyone else.

I want you here. I thought you knew that. I guess it is reasonable for you to doubt, though... I know I haven't communicated.

Ask around.

See if I've been talking to anyone else much.

I manage to cheer up for a few minutes... and yeah, there's a long list of people I 'have'. You're not on it because I DON'T KNOW any more. I don't know how you feel. From your words, I am almost sure that you've taken off the chain...

...I don't feel the link any more. I've been shutting down all of that, turning off EVERYTHING. You. Angel. Even what connections I have to Kadin and Grr. I am hollow right now, and no one else needs to touch that.

Part of me wants to scream 'leave me alone' at you, wondering why you can't understand how hellish life is for me... the rest of me knows that it's just as hellish for you as it is for me. *shrugs*

Daris, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

I'm not a goddess, not a genius, not perfect. I'm just me, and I am very confused.

Let me know what YOU want. What you feel. What you expect.

Talk to me.

*shrugs* If you can't talk to me, or won't... then I guess it IS over, isn't it?