But I'm starting fresh in a sense.

I'm going to be making some pretty drastic changes to ME this coming month.

A couple of 'resolutions', if you will:

1) I'm going to stick to the damned shakes and other medications and seriously try my best to get some semblance of an immune system back. This includes getting my blood drawn SOON, taking my vitamins, and actually trying to get a bit of exercise. Yes, sex is perfectly good exercise... but I've not gotten enough of it. I need all three of my boys and I need them HERE, NOW. *sighs* Since I don't have them... I need to walk around more, maybe try some sit-ups.

2) I'm going to work on either reforming myself into something more completely, or merely letting my 'sub side', so to speak, slide as far out of conscious reach as I can, not forever, but just for a month. I need a bit of a break. I might do the same to my seriously 'domme side', just for the same reasons... but I don't think so. I can live for a month without going completely sub. I know if I try to go a month without going completely domme I really will loose it. Yes, I'm more or less stressing that whole completely factor, I'm not dumb enough to think that I can give up BDSM completely. I could give up the physical OR the mental OR the emotional part of it completely, or give up MOST of all three (which is what I intend) but... yeah. This is me.

3) I'm going to concentrate harder on work. I know I say this a lot, and this time I guess I'm sort of asking for help, because I'm not good at it. Ask me how work is going. Ask me when my next class is or what graphic I'm working on now. Remind me that I've projects to complete. I want to be a steadily-working Jax, I'm just no good at it. *sighs*

4) I'm going to finish writing up several things, and work on several more. I'm going to finish the ceremony, for example... and see if I can start on a rewrite of Raven's Story and 'Sai's Lot. I'm going to write more for Songbird and for Absence, and for Dehan's Story. I'm going to write more of my Past.

5) This month is going to be spent giving proper attention to my boys. Caleb, Kadin, Nick... but kadin's had my attention for quite a while now. I need to make sure that Caleb and Nick get just as much, I love all three of them. I also need to be sure I've made time for my other pets and friends. This is a people-friendly month.

6) I will NOT fall in love, lust, etc. with anyone new this month! If I'm going to fall for someone, it will just have to wait until next month, and that's all there is to it.

7) Sex... ahh, now this gets complicated. Caleb and I need more of it... and at the same time, I really do need less. I'm going to try to cut down on masturbating, on random sex... but make sure that Caleb and I have happytime more often, which considering how f'ing little I've gotten over the last few weeks, shouldn't be hard. See, I'm getting a bit disgusted with myself sexually again, not too much, but I'd rather not be disgusted at all. I'm going to prove to myself that I CAN go without sex for reasons other than medical ones... and once I do that, then I can quite happily go back to fucking anything and anyone I decide, when I want. I need to re-establish my own control over my body and my sex drive though, at least for right now.

8) I'm going to try to have at least one cheerful, happy, or uplifting thing posted per day. No, not promising an entire entry like that... some days just don't deserve them. But I WILL do my best to find something good in every day and write about it at some point.

I think that's about it for bizarre and more-than-likely pointless resolutions... and now I'm going to go write email to the Oxford student who thinks I'm male (and he might be Bi after all, woohoo!), drink soda and not take the can out to the can bin, sleep, do jack shit except maybe write a bit, and generally ignore every resolution for a while longer. And why?

Because the f'ing period cramps just hit.

Hey, at least I'm not pregnant, right? *wry grin*