What I do regret is hurting him. Not the physical pain, I know he'll survive it, it will heal. But somehow, I seem to have hurt him deeper, done something, somehow, that has left him cold and aching. And for perhaps the first time, I honestly don't know what it was. I don't know what I did - or didn't do - but the results of it are clear and frightening.

Anyone who knows me, knows I don't do this often... but it is owed now.

I apologise. I asked for pain, for blood, believing that the results would be short-term physical pain, mild emotional upset, and a temporary push over the edge of play into something deeper. I believed that you would understand that I loved you, that you would feel the physical pain and emotional upset, and that you would be able to deal with those, knowing how much it meant to me and enjoying it. I believed that you wanted it, needed it, as much as I did.

I'm sorry that I hurt you more than intended, and I am sorry for whatever it was that made you feel less safe. I'm sorry that I took your words, your requests, at face value, rather than digging deeper BEFORE I agreed to them. I am sorry that you are unhappy, theunre. I would never wish it on you.

*shrugs* Currently, I am talking with Torian and Spike. And at least now I know a bit of WHY he hurts...

...not that it makes it much better. *sighs*

I think everyone misunderstands, sometimes. Everyone interprets things for the worst, sometimes. We're all human, we all see the worst of things, we all see the glass as half-empty.

In this case though? That half-empty glass? If you'll talk with me, tell me what's wrong, give me a chance, I'll fill it to overflowing for you.

I love for keeps.