*Apparently just poofed onto the Jax Diary and is expected to add an entry?*

Umm.....

See, this is the bad part of that.

...

The fact that I really, REALLY don't know what to write about.

The Mets lost 7-0 in their series yesterday...

No, that's not right.

=^_^_^=

There, see that, right there? That's me. Er...it represents me. Kadin, that is.

Mrow! Yep, you've heard about me, heard how badly I screw up and how wonderfully I succeed. Now, meet the myth himself...wow, I sound like some mythic god or something. Or maybe an avatar. Or a slaveboy. Yes, that seems more fitting.

Somebody just said something about cooking.

And sweet'n'sout meatballs.

Except he said it's NOT gonna happen.

OK, that is a bad thing.

Food...now me all hungry.

Meat, olives....hey, they're ordering pizza!

*Happy kitty*

OK, tacos. Same thing.

They're both round and flat and tomato sauced and alright, so they're completely different. Gimme a break.

And Mistress has wet hair.

Just thought I'd mention it, in case anybody out there reading this (My God, people are going to READ this, aren't they?) suddenly thought to themselves "I wonder why Kadin is writing this? Where is the Jax? And is her hair wet? And are there pikachus there?"

The answer, friends, to all these questions, is 42.

2 points to everyone who gets the reference.

2 points for everyone who doesn't get the reference.

And a tunafish sandwich with too much salt for anyone who dares to have comprehended everything I've said so far.

Do you PUT salt on a tunafish sandwich?

Oh, I don't, but surely there must be someone there who does? Should I try it? Probably. Feedback, anyone?

Any yes, believe it or not, that is a valid and working email address that I actually READ. Is it not nifty? Worship the tuna. Same point scheme here except that nobody gets any points.

...

Oh, hey, have I mentioned that I can play "Yankee Doodle" on my teeth by hitting them with my fingernails?

Yep! You can watch, if you want to and have scary clairvoyant or clairaudient powers I will let you listen sometime. Except I won't because you're not allowed to use those kinds of powers on me.

And hey, it was pizza after all!

Yay!

Barbeque chicken pizza.

Um...tay. I'll try it, then I won't knock it because by then instead of sounding strange (like I have room to talk) I'll just be like so incredibly in this chicken enduced state of bliss that I'll forget I ever did this. "It tastes like chicken!"

Of course, it BETTER taste like chicken or I will be angry. Then again, if you listen to most people, they could put FROG LEGS on the pizza and we would never know because ppl say it tastes like chicken too. People are full of crap. Frog legs taste better.

:�

Hrm? What's that you say? More? Encore?

Wow.

And people say I'M a masochist.

OOH! OOH! I just remembered something!

Soda pop tops!

You know the ones, that if you remove them in one piece, you're supposed to turn them in for a hug, a kiss, a blowjob, or a guilt-free fuck?

Well, they don't work.

Because I have 75 of them in my lower left front pocket. (Yes, I have many pockets. In case you hadn't figured it out yet, I am a kender.) Have you ever wondered what would happen if you turned in 75 at once? You could get your bones crushed by hugging, your lips sucked off (New meaning to the word "liposuction" for the kiss, die of dehydration for the third option, or simply die HAPPY with the fourth. And it's 100% fat free!

Er...guilt free.

Mew!

Of course, I said they don't work, but that's beside the point because they work just fine.

IF you can get somebody who'll redeem them for you.

And where do they go when they're redeemed? Supposedly they only work for the person who pulled them off, but what does the redeemer do with them then?

Is there some giant national stock of redeemed pop can tops somewhere?

Can you imagine raiding that?

Woohoo! Free sex for life!

Of course, you'd have trouble getting through the airport with THOSE bags.

Try explaining to a security guard why you have 400 lbs of pop can tops in your suitcases.

Oh, and thank you Emmers/Little Washuu! You via ICQ just reminded me!

I have a burrito!

It's made of solid rock!

Or...it might as well be. Hehe.

The buggies don't think so.

I should throw it out.

But that wouldn't stop the bugs.

Damnit, have you ever noticed that it's impossible to get rid of bugs? Especially the ones that don't exist?

Anyone who's worked tech support can back me up on this one. How many people have you talked to who couldn't get their computers to work because they weren't plugged in/turned on etc?

And I used to think that cup holder thing was an urban legend...

*Vanishes in a puff of squirrel entrails and chicken feathers*