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Eh, once again I'm on a guilt trip. Quite a few of 'em, actually. First off, I haven't read any diaries in several days... why does this make me feel guilty? Because I know that I like it when other people read mine. Strangers, close friends, it's just nice to know that SOMEONE is paying attention, y'know? (And thank you, MoOk) So... I am going to do a reading gala soon, get caught up.
Next - love. Ok, look, I DO belive that love online is possible... hell, I've had more than my share of it. Problem is, people who DON'T know me, who really have no CLUE who I am and what I like, deciding after a few weeks that they are head-over-heels... those people scare and bother me. And I've got one of the little stalker dears on me right now.
See, he/she (LONG story) seems to see me as... well, almost a Goddess. Yeah, I KNOW, that whole Domme thing does work into that, but I swear, I've never claimed to care for this person, nor to be perfect, none of that... except - and here's why I'm freaking - one of my Furcadia characters fell for one of his/hers. It was a short-term thing, and the RP wasn't even that great... (Yes, RP=Role Playing, please try to keep up) ...but... ack. I DO feel sorry for this person, their life really isn't great, it's as bad or worse than Kitten's... but unlike him, he/she isn't doing ANYTHING to make it better, is barely even trying, just sits around bitching and crying. It's... ick.
But I still feel guilty, for somehow misrepresenting myself even though I know I didn't, for not helping even though I know I can't... it's ridiculous.
And having written it all out, I feel better... isn't that half the point of diaries? You write out what's gone on, good and bad, and it helps make sense of it, helps get you over the worst of it.
One last gripe, then some good news, I promise - the gripe.... *drum roll* ....I'm out of vicodin. OUT. Yep, I took it all, I have NONE left. Done. Gone. Finished. And I'm already aching, wanting more.
Ok, now the good news. What was it, again? Damn... I know I had some... hm. I'll update again later if I can remember it, I guess. *wry grin*
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