...thank you, Al X. You've got the words I need. An eye-opener. Something that blindsides me, something unexpected and yet I should have seen it coming, something that leaves me breathless, hungry, aching, helpless, hopeless...

Dehan says:

*blinks* Yesterday the world was falling apart... today I'm sitting here, listening to Sarah Mclaughlin, talking to you... and it's as if yesterday just faded away. Strange.

I'm talking to Alex and Juliet, both of these are good things. I'm watching Thomas reading a book, watching Maia wander around being destruct-o-bat, yawning and stretching and daydreaming lazily about fancy clothing and snuggles and chocolate. Sarah Mclaughlin is playing... there's a bit of pepsi left for me to drink, a few more strands of red licorish to be kidnapped if I've the urge.

"Your love is better than ice cream, better than anything else that I've tried..."

"It's a long way down... it's a long way down... it's a long way down to the place where we started from..."

She's a pretty voice. And pretty words. The sun is shining outside, birds and bees and butterflies dancing about, none of them aware that yesterday the sky fell. None of them have any idea that the nation should be in a panic... and I think I'll join them. I've caffeine, and friends, and I'm alive and well.

Yes, those who died and those who know someone who died... all those injured... they have my sympathy. They have my grief. Yesterday, they had a few of my tears.

I should feel guilty for going on...

...I don't, though.

About all I'm feeling right now is lazy contentment and the sad but somehow comforting 'missing someone' feeling that I'm learning to live with.