I just thought I should mention that Caleb has arrived. And the vicodin kicks in.... slow blissful fall into addiction and pleasure and GODS tech support is so much easier when I don't care any more... nothing they say, nothing they do, can hurt me.

Honesty. You know what honesty is? Honesty is a lonely little boy who has to see the girls he loves fall for someone else, hear about their love life, and never get to touch them himself. Honesty is a scared boy who doesn't believe he will ever really be good enough, who has dream castles built out of shadows and can't understand why the world rejects him... they rejected Jesus, and De Sade, and thousands of other people I am too drugged to remember. Honesty is a girl who I'm dreaming about and she knows it, I know she knows it, she knows I know, and neither of us do anything unless one of us is so drunk that the other feels guilty if they take advantage. Honesty is falling in love with pixels and expecting them to be just the same in reality. Honesty is a load of horse shit and I'm tired of it.

*waves a white flag* I give up, I surrender, I can't deal with all this honesty... I'd rather take a pill, wander into a game, and dream my life away for just one more day... please... I don't want to be here. I don't want to see this.

*eyes the white flag... slowly furls it, leaving it wrapped around the spear it was mounted on*

And then I wake up, neh? I wouldn't really be happy dreaming forever... there are a few things I need. Real things. Real people. Anyway... back to the grind.