I know, I know, Jax not writing, something must be either very good or very bad, right?

I have two vicodin sitting beside the keyboard as I am typing this, by the way.

But really, despite the rather overdramatic entries I've been prone to lately, things are going... ok. Not good, not bad, but for the moment I'm in a holding pattern and I kind of like it here. Other than the not getting enough lesbian sex bit, I want that to change. *grins*

I'm in a lot of pain but it's pain I am used to, now. I don't like it. I don't want it. However, most of the time I can deal with it. It's not scaring me, right now. I miss my boys, I always miss my boys, but I know Nick is surviving, I know Kadin is surviving (I even talked to him earlier tonight, yeah, I know I'm updating this at 6:00 in the morning, I just haven't slept yet), I know Caleb is surviving... Rhett is strong, Daris is strong, and Arrasto is hella amusing and for at least a few more days, safe.

I have nice brand new sharpie markers, I have Mikey's promise that he'll help me sharpen my knives 'ventually, I have a Grr who is the most wonderful Grr in the universe and who really needs to be taken out for sushi if I can afford it ever - ideally it'd be Grr and Aleah and Tarma and I, four girl-happy girls out for fish and alcohol. *huge grin*

I've got a pawful of songs stuck in my head - if you want to see my mind, listen to them. "Hey Mister" by Custom... "The Distance" by Evan and Jaron... "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks... "God Is A DJ" by Faithless... "Locked In A Cage" by Skillet... "I Don't Want To Go To Toronto" by Radio Free Vestibule... "Mack The Knife" by a LOT of people... and the spoken-word piece called "Boot To The Head" done by Frantics (hilarious, you should all listen to it, and Rob, thank you for intro'ing me to this, it's incredible!).

I have a lot of reasons to be happy and a lot of reasons to be depressed. Scott's doing the Bartending Thing, and I think that's great - bartending pays decently well and hey, Scott and drinks is generally a fun combination... *wry grin* ...then again, the technicolor moment in the treehouse would seem to prove me otherwise occasionally. *petpets* No poisoning yourself this time, selia.

The MeLLoN says she's gonna password her diary... and although I understand the passwording urge (have wanted to lock this one away a time or three) I really really hope that either she doesn't or that I get the password, I enjoy reading her. There's actually quite a few people I like reading, not just my favorites list... a few who are currently off the rotation but still read a LOT include midnightlord, diaryanon, unsentletter, monstre, doug, nothing-girl, mreoci, kestral, oddgoogle, quoted, jezz62, wish2bedead, redqueenmeg, quietus, shoplift, and of course the owner and creator and Diaryland God, Andrew! Yes, I know I've forgotten at least three, but... ehh. It's late. Or early. Or whatever you want to call it.

So yeah, this is my update...

There is now one vicodin sitting beside my keyboard. I'm outa here, pain-free and pleasant dreams, I'm staying online though and if the drug-craze spins me around just right, I'll be back to write of madness and cabbages.

Hugs to the world. I think the world needs 'em.