Hunger, Reprise
Previous - this entry written on 2001-06-13 at 6:26 p.m. - Next
It's just about 6:30. I'm sitting in the Dungeon room of a new chatroom Kadin suggested, waiting for the boy to show up. I'm hoping he has enough privacy to type well. I'm hoping I truly have him for a full hour. I want to make him HURT...This post is not going to be a lighthearted one. I've been thinking about breaking people again, about training, about violence. I told Tash that I don't enjoy physical violence as much as I enjoy mental and emotional cruelty. Most of the time, that's true. However, there are some times and some situations where physical is what's needed. This... I need the RUSH of causing someone to suffer, the tingling warmth that floods through me. I crave it. It doesn't matter if the pain I give them is physical, mental, or emotional. It doesn't matter who I hurt, as long as I can FEEL them suffering. If I can't feel it, can't see it, it does me no good. He's here now, in the chatroom. I want to force him. I want to HURT him. And I feel... I feel almost lost, as if I can't remember how. This is very disconcerting. I think I'll manage, though. It's slowly coming back to me... *will update this post later*
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