Nothing could be further from the truth, at least as far as I am involved with it.

I've had MPD for years. No, not often to the degree that one part or another takes over SO completely that the rest of me can't remember what happened - that's a rarity, only happens under very specific circumstances.

They say... nah, ~I~ say, that names have power. To name something is to know it. And I've quite a handful of names, some of them alts (alter egoes, personas, moods, whatever you want to call that division of personalities within my head), some of them nicknames, some of them smokescreens, and only a few people know which is which.

But I will tell you this much. My submissive side - that's an alt. One nice, compact parcel. My Domme side? Another alt. Two, actually, but one of them is a 'ooh, this seems fun' Domme, and one is a true Domina, serious and caring.

Oh, just a side note - I am COVERED in bugbites. Easily twenty at this point, possibly more. They itch. *grin*

Anyway... when I'm thinking about magick, when I'm dealing with the spiritual, that's an alt. When I'm so heavily depressed that writing is all I can do, or even when I find myself writing just because it's THERE, that's an alt. Giddy, hyper? An alt.

Yes, every alt CAN sometimes do some of the things others do. They are much like individual people - just because one alt likes something or does something, doesn't mean all the rest hate it or can't ever do it. However, there are some things that are at least most of the time unique to one alt. The way my sex drive manifests itself varies, depending on who is out. My tone of voice changes, sometimes considerably. There's a few habits, little gestures, that are unique to one alt. And there are a few worldviews, systems of belief, that are distinct enough that when I change alts, I sometimes change my entire moral system.

No, I don't think I am crazy... or rather, I don't think this qualifies me as crazy. I put them there on purpose. Forged them myself, with help from a few people, yes, but they are there for a reason. They are there due to a conscious decision on my part.

I do think that although I in effect created the divisions - not the personas themselves, they were all tangled up in there before, just not this separate - although I split 'em, at times I do NOT have the control over them that I would like.

You see, there's this one part. One alt.

I didn't put her there.

I know who did, though... or at least, who started the process, who opened the gate, and named her once she arrived. I'm not sure how much of it was intended, and how much was just unfortunate coincidence... but this alt is here.

In my head.

In my body.

In my heart.

And I can't get her out even if I wanted to. She is the only one who can MAKE me not see what's going on, when she is out. The others... we talk, we argue, and if we don't want to see what is going on, we don't. It's... it's not always friendly, not sweetness-and-light, but we usually agree at least on who should be doing what.

Not this other. She's got her own agenda. Her own goals. Her own ideas of what is and isn't important.

And she's PISSED.

*sigh*